Over at RGBP Marthahas challenged ring members to "write a blog post about a woman who has been a positive influence on your ministry (whether or not she is/was a pastor),"
I have two women to write about. So here is #2:
May also served my home congregation at one point in time. But while that fact touches on this story, it is not the basis of the story, not the time she had the most impact on me.
After my first internship crashed 20 years ago (on this day 20 years ago I was getting ready to move to Edson for it) I took a break from studies of 4 years. One of those years I did a unit of CPE, which would later count as 2 course credits when I went to finish my MDiv.
May was my CPE supervisor.
During the CPE entrance interview we talked openly about the fact that we had a past history. She had served in my home congregation when I was 11 or 12, my father had been on the M&P committee at the time, and her pastoral relationship with the congregation had not ended well. We talked about if this past made it a good idea or a bad idea for her to be my supervisor. As she was at the time a provisional supervisor I can only assume she also had that discussion with her supervisor as well.
I think it was a good thing. More about that in a moment.
CPE was a challenge for me, as Pastoral Care was (and is) a challenge for my ministry gifts. And at that point I still had a LOT of personal work to do before I would be ready for ministry. I had little self-confidence, little sense that I had much to offer. I was uncomfortable with emotional discussion. So yeah, CPE was a challenge for me. I was blessed with a good group who were supportively challenging. And May was an excellent supervisor, both in the group discussions and in the one-on-one. She helped start me on a path that would lead to seeing a counselor and doing a whole lot of healing and growth. And I think that she was best able to do that because she knew a different me.
Quite frequently in our discussions May would look at me and say "that isn't who you are, isn't who you used to be, what happened". She was able to remind me of what had been true before the worst years of school bullying had changed me. In retrospect I think others had seen signs of it, had tried to draw me beyond the image I had taken on of myself. But May could provide her own testimony of who she knew me as. And that had more impact. I also think that because I knew more of her story, including parts she omitted when she told her story to the group (and called her on when we met one-on-one the next time) it was easier for me to be open with her than it wold have with another supervisor.
CPE was not a magic bullet. After that I still ended up going to a counselor (on the advice/instruction of my Presbytery E&S Committee) for a couple of years. But it started me on the road to health. And May was a big part of that.
Sadly May is no longer living. Rest in Peace.
Showing posts with label #RallyRevGals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #RallyRevGals. Show all posts
Monday, August 18, 2014
#RallyRevGals Post Number 1....
Over at RGBP Marthahas challenged ring members to "write a blog post about a woman who has been a positive influence on your ministry (whether or not she is/was a pastor),"
I have two women to write about. So here is #1:
It was a woman who first suggested I go into ministry.
Barb came to serve my home congregation when I was in high school, grade 11 I believe. One of her main roles was support for the Christian Education activities and that is how I got to know her. She also led an adult Bible Study but I was not heavily involved in that group until after she had moved on (though I heard reports of some of their discussions). But as part of an active family in the church I got to talk with her relatively often and felt a connection I did not feel with either of the other ministers who served that congregation while she was there.
When I first applied to work at Camp in the spring of 1989 Barb was one of the people I used as a reference. I remember that discussion. We talked about my experience with IVCF (a group I was by then finding less and less comfortable in) and how their approach to Bible Study sat with me.
The other time I worked most closely with Barb was when I was on the interview/hiring committee for a new church musician (organist and choir director) and she was the ministry personnel working with the committee.
Then one day she said to my mom: "has Gord ever considered ministry?". We all laughed. And yet within a year I was sitting in the office of the University chaplain asking about the process. As I was getting ready to go to seminary I wrote to Barb. Haven't talked to her for years in person, though we have connected on Facebook. But without her question, I wonder if I would be where I am now....
And when I remember that story I remember that we in the church have a duty to call out leadership. And yet I wonder if I would be able to do that, to ask that question.
I have two women to write about. So here is #1:
It was a woman who first suggested I go into ministry.
Barb came to serve my home congregation when I was in high school, grade 11 I believe. One of her main roles was support for the Christian Education activities and that is how I got to know her. She also led an adult Bible Study but I was not heavily involved in that group until after she had moved on (though I heard reports of some of their discussions). But as part of an active family in the church I got to talk with her relatively often and felt a connection I did not feel with either of the other ministers who served that congregation while she was there.
When I first applied to work at Camp in the spring of 1989 Barb was one of the people I used as a reference. I remember that discussion. We talked about my experience with IVCF (a group I was by then finding less and less comfortable in) and how their approach to Bible Study sat with me.
The other time I worked most closely with Barb was when I was on the interview/hiring committee for a new church musician (organist and choir director) and she was the ministry personnel working with the committee.
Then one day she said to my mom: "has Gord ever considered ministry?". We all laughed. And yet within a year I was sitting in the office of the University chaplain asking about the process. As I was getting ready to go to seminary I wrote to Barb. Haven't talked to her for years in person, though we have connected on Facebook. But without her question, I wonder if I would be where I am now....
And when I remember that story I remember that we in the church have a duty to call out leadership. And yet I wonder if I would be able to do that, to ask that question.
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